Dysfunction of the Genders, Part 1

In a marked departure from the usual (and perhaps staid?) political/historical/environmental/social commentary fare often seen here, I am presenting this multi-part presentation on social psyche of the genders, especially the 20-40 somethings (with a bit more emphasis on the younger part of that spread). For those of you with weak constitutions or delicate sensibilities, buck up, as I won’t be sparing things just because they could be considered crude, lewd, or derogatory.

That caveat said, I really like the CD that this is taken from (perhaps that says a great deal about the mental and emotional activity, etc. of this prof!). Not just because of the song-slinging easy jingling, but because the songs illustrate in quite raw form how at least part of the male side views things. Perhaps a reader could suggest some counterpart female views to post…

So onto the first of many lyrics postings and analyzing (presented here for educational purposes only, so as not to infringe on the rights of the band and their publishers/producers, although I'm assuming since I own the CD, like the CD, and am giving it publicity, they won't mind):

From Theory of a Deadman’s 2011 CD “The Truth Is…,” comes this song. The lyrics give the title away right off…

“The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?

I like her so much better when she's down on her knees
Cause when she's in my face that's when I'm starting to see
That all my friends were right in thinking that we'd be wrong
But she's so fuckin' stupid she'd be singing along

The trouble with girls is they're all the same
Forget the diamonds and pearls; they just want a ring
Before you know it, you're like a dog on a leash
Well you can try and change the world, but you won't change me

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?

There she goes again just always breaking my balls
No matter what I do somehow it's always my fault
She says I must be cheating cause I turned off my phone
But that's the only f’in' way she'll leave me alone

The trouble with girls is that it’s never enough
They love to complain and they never shut up
They like to tell you the way it ought to be
Go on and tell the world but just don't tell me

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?

It ain't a joke when I say I wanna throw you out
(I really mean it, I really mean it)
Well look who's laughing now!

The bitch, came, the bitch came back
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
She just couldn't stay away

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But the bitch came back; she won't stay the f*ck away”

Aside from the (demeaning?) language, these lyrics illustrate quite directly how many 20-40 something men feel, at least in my own monitoring from travels, circles of friends and acquaintances, and internet sifting. Look at some of the themes men are rebelling against: control; manipulation; incessant verbosity; and accusation, just to name some. There is also the first hint of another theme that will be coming up soon: men feel they can’t treat women too nicely, or perhaps even that the women don’t deserve it, and in any case if they treat them too nicely because they want the woman around, she’ll leave, but if they treat her like, well, the b-word above, they won’t be able to get rid of her! :)

Yes, yes, I know there are SOME, hopefully, MANY American male-female relationships that don’t fit anything like these patterns described. Good for them. Are they the exception or the rule? Interesting ponder!

Flat Liners

As someone has said, how would you like to be making $200,000 a year today after 25 years on the job? Well, if you started with the pay of an average worker 25 years ago that's what you'd be making today--if you got the same kind of raises that CEOs of American companies got for the past 25 years!

Are we really to believe that those CEOs “value-added contributions, expertise, and decisions” are so grandly in excess of ours that this is how it should be? With 75% of America today making $50,000 or less (often far less), it doesn’t take a finance major to figure out the above calculations (or to know that something is off), and that wages have been stagnant or falling for the average worker.

Dysfunction Junction

Mike Lofgren, David Stockman. A few true conservatives, solid Republicans, have become disgusted with their party, and have owned up to the mistakes made by that party and its adherents. Stockman I have talked of before. Lofgren, the long-serving Republican analyst on the Senate Budget Committee, says that most of the national debt has been piled up by Republicans, and now they have the monstrously selfish gall to not want to own up to it, let alone pay for it, and are willing to bring the country down in the process. He saw the train wreck coming from the Republican intransigence about getting tax breaks for the wealthy and corporations. Because when the Republicans made it a necessary condition prior to any agreement on raising the debt ceiling, when they knew very well that to do so would mean a detailed law could not be crafted in time for the Aug 2nd deadline, Lofgren, who just retired, saw it as a looming disaster and wrote op-ed pieces about it.

Only the fact that the markets have now begun to accept and factor some of the marked dysfunction in the US political-fiscal process, have things been relatively calm from what they could be.

Pet Projection

The number of people with pets seems to be on the increase. Some of it may be economic, as children are delayed, etc. But some of it seems to this observer to be because pets increase in importance due to the fact that in this society we are disconnected from each other, and yet at the same time have a drawing human need to feel connected with something or someone, to feel less alone. Yes, people love their pets, and yes, many families have pets, but these do not seem to negate the trend.

We Are Not Regenerating

As the readers of the P&H joint blog know, I returned from a two week vacation relatively recently, the first in too many years (a long story for a prof). Sure, I got bits of time in those years—a few days here, a few days there—but not a vacation, and I certainly don’t count “working vacations” (if work is involved, it’s not a real vacation). Frederick Taylor, for all his probable damage to the soul of work (or, in his defense, at least the perversion of his techniques by others), did determine that 14 days/2 weeks off (he is generally credited with scientifically establishing the basis for the 2-week American vacation) was necessary to return a modern, industrial-age worker to the same effectiveness and efficiency he had when he began to work.

But this frenetic American culture, and one tied in electronically at nearly all times, doesn’t get that. People “can’t afford” to be gone from the workplace that long—think of the work that will pile up, not to mention the emails, etc., as well as the workplace politics that will work against in the absence, plus, if you can be gone that long, they will think they can do without you, and they will—permanently. So people end up getting away in driblets of 3-7 days at most. It isn’t enough. If 7 or even 10 days had been enough, Taylor would have determined it, for he didn’t have a whole lot of sympathy for workers.

And so we don’t rest and recuperate, and we don’t regenerate. We plow forward in semi-panicky exhaustion, and we burn our adrenal systems out (even a small amount of stress effectively continual will do enormous damage, and we usually have far more than a small amount), let alone the damage we do to the rest of our mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational health.

And all this doesn’t even include the stress outside the workplace. We need the time off. ALL of it. In a row. But we don’t get it. Some of this we do to ourselves. Much of the rest, the culture does to us. And part of that culture is the exploitative nature of work—exploitative commoditized-labor companies and organizations that is the reality in far too many instances.

My Finnish friends were right—American workplace culture is not sustainable to the human spirit, and killing quality of real life around the world, because with globalization, everyone has to compete.

Watching

Will our political process get itself together before default? Stay tuned!

3D

I saw “The Green Lantern” in 3D recently. While its humano-centric, over-the-top theatrics got some critics’ attention, I was thinking of something not about the movie itself at all. I was thinking about my fellow movie goers, most of whom were young, and some who were even lively. How much does entertainment of all types, but especially electronic entertainment, divert, distract, and/or de-plug its partakers? How much are they inoculated against reality and anesthetized against its effects by entertainment? Are people, and especially many of the young adults, in modes of desperation, despair, or denial? Is entertainment mostly just innocent marketing of what we want, or are there elements of purposeful, perhaps even sinister, manipulation for desired effect? Given that I enjoy entertainment immensely, these are anxious thoughts to ponder…