Prior to the last half of the last century, did American men need to get in touch with their feminine side? Probably. Certainly there was a long legacy of excessive yang energy, of unexamined aggression and arrogance, minimized cooperation, and other things too prevalent in Western civilization for hundreds of years.
Not so much anymore, socially for sure. At least for average males who are NOT wealthy.
It’s not just that the pendulum has swung too far: it’s brought with it an amnesiatic estrogen-laced mist. It’s bad enough all the estrogen producing and testosterone suppressing things in the environment, food and water, etc. But the cultural imposition only magnifies it to a thoroughly unreasonable extent. Case in point, as recently chronicled by Ellen Gray of the Philadelphia Inquirer:
“Teri Polo's character in ABC's "Man Up!" tells her husband after he complains that they 'need more hazelnut creamer’ and frets about how to communicate manhood to their 13-year-old son:
‘I'm sorry, honey, but your grandfather fought in World War II, your father fought in Vietnam, but you play video games and use pomegranate body wash.’"
Ouch. Touche. Inditement. Robert Bly and others in the back to men movement would only amplify this condemnation were they to speak at this point.
Even male comedians reinforce this social feminine dominance. Married men are routinely depicted as surrendering their wills to their wives on nearly everything. And that argument for change is pointless (and argument with the woman, futile).
Who the HELL said that was okay? Sure, we don’t need to return to a time of overwhelming male dominance. But we don’t need female dominance either. How about establishing some real balance, real social equality? And we sure don’t need this emasculatingly ABSURD idea that women can dictate to men what is PERMISSABLE, especially in the realm of maleness. “My wife/girlfriend LETS me do X. My wife/girlfriend won’t let me do THAT. My wife/girlfriend won’t let our son do X. My wife/girlfriend says it’s only okay to do Y.” On and on, ad nauseum. And so many men, an apparent majority, acquiesce, and start to lose their zest for life, to live someone else’s idea of their life, and not their own.
Having women DEFINE what is male is a bad idea. Emasculated men going along with it is even worse. The good points of nurturing and love we should keep—our children are probably better off for it. The excessive “rescue and protection” aspect that gets its spur from femaledom should be junked.
All that’s just a few minor things for starters. This is BIG.
"I never expect him to be anything other than what he is." Peggy speaking about Don Draper (Mad Men Season 2) Now there's a concept.
ReplyDeleteYou've left off the lyrics but I'll make up the difference with film characters. What movie characters do women find irresistible? James Bond, Han Solo, Rick in Casablanca, Achilles in Troy, and Rhett Butler to name a few. It intrigues me that women are drawn to the kind of men who are self reliant, uncontrollable, rule breakers. No woman watching GWTW understands Scarlet's infatuation with Ashley when she has won the heart of the dashing Captain Butler. But in real life even if we start out with such a partner, many women begin at once trying to make him into something less (not ELSE--LESS).
Women are working diligently to make the men that they live with into men they have no respect for. Years down the road she looks at him and wonders what happened to the man she fell in love with. The sad answer is--she killed him, but she can't figure it out because the culture tells her it must be a problem with him. Maybe women have always behaved this way, trying to civilize and domesticate men, and until recently men just weren't that malleable. But for whatever reason (can you elaborate on the "estrogen producing and testosterone suppressing things in the environment" at some point?) men now willingly go along with it. Good for you on calling them on it!