Once, men had a dominance in the lies category. Whether for bravado, or political-economic-social competition, or for effecting their romantic or sexual player status, or any of a host of reasons, men lied on average more than women.
It appears that this is no longer the case, maybe WAY no longer the case.
This doesn’t mean that men don’t still lie plenty. They do, and for a lot of the same reasons. But women, for whatever reasons (physical, environmental, social, cultural, etc.), as has been explained in multiple social and psychological studies, have taken on many characteristics of previous male-dominated behavior.
In short, women often lie. Attractive females lie more. Young, attractive females lie even more. Young, single (regardless of boyfriend status), attractive females appear to lie the most.
What used to be the wiles and manipulation of the so-called “weaker” sex have ran off the rails in this new social-cultural environment. Often freed from any blanket status of being “weaker,” the methods historically used to compensate (and which became highly developed) have now been turned loose in full force on a male population that is less assertive, less confident, less socially domineering (far less so, except for the upper classes) than before. This would have colossal effects even WITHOUT the physical/hormonal factors that appear to be at higher—sometimes much higher—levels in women.
Which leads to the male refrain, a combination of bewilderment, shock, anger, frustration, and despair: “Why so many lies? Why the lies that don’t even serve a purpose? Why so much manipulation, deception, and deflection? Why so EVIL?” I have had numerous attractive girls who are/were friends (girlfriend and otherwise) admit to me that they lie to and manipulate the men in their life (and often have more than one!), and some even laugh at the cruelty of it. One told me that even if she’s caught, she never admits anything, and continues with denial and stupid or even nonsensical stories and deflection (“no matter how retarded”) until the man in the matter just gives up in frustration. She says (and is no doubt right), that “unlike a woman, the man will forget about or not care about the specifics in two weeks anyway.” Daunting social psychology!
Ah, you have been wondering, ok Prof, but where’s the song lyrics? :) Okay, in a bit of frustration wrapped up In a whimsical song about tables turning, comes, once again, the band that has been featured here for the previous two weeks. Here’s the title song from their “The Truth Is..” CD:
“You lie about you, and you lie about me
You lie about your ex's and the STDs,
You grew up rich in the Florida Keys
You lie about everything
You lie about a baby being on the way
You’re lyin’ to yourself if you think I’d stay
It's just a big game I don't wanna play
You lie about everything
You think you'll get everything you want
But you ain't gonna get it from me
The truth is...
It was all pretend
All along I've been sleeping with your best friend
The truth is...
I really hate your face
You were never all that hot in the first place
Bad in bed you suck at givin' head
You've gone and got me thinking I'd be better off dead
The truth is...
You're fuckin' useless
The truth is...
I lied about everything
You lie to your folks, say everything's fine
What you don't know, rent's 2 months behind
Tell all your friends that we have a great time
You lie about everything
You lie when you said your tits are real
They're about as fake as the way we feel
You're so full of shit that I cannot deal
'Cause you lie about everything
I don't think we stand a chance
Watcha said you can't take back
The truth is...
It was all pretend
All along I've been sleeping with your best friend
The truth is...
I really hate your face
You were never all that hot in the first place
Bad in bed, you suck at givin' head
You've gone and got me thinking I'd be better off dead
The truth is...
You're fuckin' useless
The truth is...
I lied about everything
You lied about you and I lied about me
Now that you know I'm finally free
One last thing I'll say that's true
I lied when I said "I'm in love with you"
The truth is...
It was all pretend
All along I've been sleeping with your best friend
The truth is...
I really hate your face
You were never all that hot in the first place
Your ass is fat and you ain't that smart
Every time you talk you got me falling apart
The truth is...
You're fuckin' useless
The truth is...
I lied about everything
(I lied about everything)
(I lied I lied I lied I lied I lied )
[That was good]”
Once again, all you ladies with good sense, compassion, honesty, loyalty, character, etc. (you know, all those things females SAY they want from men): Look at how wide open the field is for you since your sisters in the larger societal sorority are often not exhibiting those qualities! :)
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Girls Don't Want A Gentleman (or a Gentle Man)
“Truth is, the girls hating on this song are in denial. They know this is true, but they can't get over themselves to realize it. This comment is coming from a girl, by the way, and as for you who are too petty to admit it, this song IS about you :) Leave your ex's and one night stands alone. You were just a hit it and quit it. Move on, or get to the kitchen. (bring the hate mail, twats)”
From the YouTube forum for the song “Gentleman”
We continue with an additional examination from the male point of view, again via song lyrics. Now, while the band partially writes with a bit of tongue in cheek (especially because they often have a female co-writer), the song and its lyrics resonate because they hit a recurrent chord: nice guys finish last. Let’s let the lyrics do the talking. All the preambles from the previous post apply and will not be repeated here. From Theory of a Deadman’s 2011 CD “The Truth Is…” comes “Gentleman.” (Btw, one could substitute “bastard,” “asshole,” and a number of others for “loser” in the lyrics and it would fit just as well or maybe even better)
“I'll let the door, hit you right in the face
And when the check comes, I'll make you pay
Don't have a car; guess you're picking me up
And in the backseat, we'll be falling in love
My only job is, to lie on this couch
And while you're workin’, I'll be hanging out
Now don't get mad 'cause, you knew from the start
I was an asshole who would never go far
'Cause when you're really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
They don't want a stand up guy
They'd rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate
Girls don't want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don't want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Your parents cry
When you bring me around
They raised you up
Just so I could take you down
There goes your life
Right before their eyes
I'll have you barefoot, pregnant, going out of your mind
'Cause when you're really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
They don't want a stand up guy
They'd rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate
Girls don't want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don't want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
I used to be a nice guy
But that don't get you anywhere
So now I’m just a piece of shit
idiot who’s too stupid to care
When you give a girl respect
Treat her like she is the best
You're nothing to her
She'd rather have you playing games
Piss her off and make her wait
If you want it to work
Girls don't want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don't want a gentleman
And if you want to get to them
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
They want a loser like me
They want a loser like me
They want a loser like me”
This is not news to males. Fellas nod in confirmation when they see a “hot” girl who is with some “loser.” If one of the fellas does happen to land a relationship with an attractive female, he is in a bit of dilemma. If he treats her the way he wants to treat her, there’s a high chance of things ending (and often badly). If he is selfish, drama-producing, rude, etc. (and so, subsequently, “interesting” and different from all the “usual” guys who tell her she’s beautiful, etc.), she’ll be hooked in all likelihood (at least for a while).
Perhaps this is related to the P&H discussion about illusion and delusion more than I thought. :)
But much of this is also related to certain psychology. With men always interested in attractive females, those females are looking for something “different,” for men with traits that “stand out.” Brazen bad boys do.
There are complex biological and psychological components at work: A female is often subliminally disposed toward a bad boy. Why? Procreation, for one. Rarely consciously formulated, this drive of the biological realm means a bad boy is more attractive at the pheromone level (for ovulating women, particularly). That he often seems charismatic and magnetic to boot only reinforces this. In the woman’s biological subconscious, it is better to procreate with someone who has stronger genes and would be better at rescuing/protecting a female from the outside world. She senses at a sub-level that his genes are best for producing a strong child, and given the enormous investment women make in child-production (let alone rearing) in comparison to the man, she subconsciously wants to give it her best genetic shot. But even where procreation is not a factor, there is often attraction. As relationship specialist Michael Fitzgerald tells us, it’s the “untamed masculinity, independence, and confidence” of bad boys that are attractive. There is also the thrill of a wild and unpredictable adventure rather than the “hum-drum, cookie cutter” experiences of “regular” dating (dinner, movies, etc.). The bad boy is also assertive (lots of guys are passive or shy), and so the female gets the feeling of being strongly pursued rather than timidly asked. And all this attraction is assuming there is not a cycle/history of abuse in play, or self-esteem issues, etc., many of which would only accentuate this attraction. If the father was absent during the female’s childhood, there may be additional intensifying issues (unresolved insecurity, feelings of being unloved by the most important male figure, etc.) as well.
Younger, attractive women tend to exhibit more behavior of being attracted to bad boys, possibly because 1) they don’t hear ticking biological clocks and can engage in more exploratory, temporary behavior, and 2) because their youthful good looks mean they know they could “have most any man I want.” Women also often think they are going to “fix” or “tame” the bad boy (yet even if they could, they probably wouldn’t want him afterwards). Interestingly enough, a large number of women often do not go as far as to marry or attempt to make a long-term commitment to a bad boy (although enough women do, obviously).
As for all you females out there who consider yourselves “average” or “moderately attractive,” men hopefully realize that much of the above may not apply as heavily to you. Use your sanity then to best advantage! :)
From the YouTube forum for the song “Gentleman”
We continue with an additional examination from the male point of view, again via song lyrics. Now, while the band partially writes with a bit of tongue in cheek (especially because they often have a female co-writer), the song and its lyrics resonate because they hit a recurrent chord: nice guys finish last. Let’s let the lyrics do the talking. All the preambles from the previous post apply and will not be repeated here. From Theory of a Deadman’s 2011 CD “The Truth Is…” comes “Gentleman.” (Btw, one could substitute “bastard,” “asshole,” and a number of others for “loser” in the lyrics and it would fit just as well or maybe even better)
“I'll let the door, hit you right in the face
And when the check comes, I'll make you pay
Don't have a car; guess you're picking me up
And in the backseat, we'll be falling in love
My only job is, to lie on this couch
And while you're workin’, I'll be hanging out
Now don't get mad 'cause, you knew from the start
I was an asshole who would never go far
'Cause when you're really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
They don't want a stand up guy
They'd rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate
Girls don't want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don't want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Your parents cry
When you bring me around
They raised you up
Just so I could take you down
There goes your life
Right before their eyes
I'll have you barefoot, pregnant, going out of your mind
'Cause when you're really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
They don't want a stand up guy
They'd rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate
Girls don't want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don't want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
I used to be a nice guy
But that don't get you anywhere
So now I’m just a piece of shit
idiot who’s too stupid to care
When you give a girl respect
Treat her like she is the best
You're nothing to her
She'd rather have you playing games
Piss her off and make her wait
If you want it to work
Girls don't want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don't want a gentleman
And if you want to get to them
Girls don't want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
They want a loser like me
They want a loser like me
They want a loser like me”
This is not news to males. Fellas nod in confirmation when they see a “hot” girl who is with some “loser.” If one of the fellas does happen to land a relationship with an attractive female, he is in a bit of dilemma. If he treats her the way he wants to treat her, there’s a high chance of things ending (and often badly). If he is selfish, drama-producing, rude, etc. (and so, subsequently, “interesting” and different from all the “usual” guys who tell her she’s beautiful, etc.), she’ll be hooked in all likelihood (at least for a while).
Perhaps this is related to the P&H discussion about illusion and delusion more than I thought. :)
But much of this is also related to certain psychology. With men always interested in attractive females, those females are looking for something “different,” for men with traits that “stand out.” Brazen bad boys do.
There are complex biological and psychological components at work: A female is often subliminally disposed toward a bad boy. Why? Procreation, for one. Rarely consciously formulated, this drive of the biological realm means a bad boy is more attractive at the pheromone level (for ovulating women, particularly). That he often seems charismatic and magnetic to boot only reinforces this. In the woman’s biological subconscious, it is better to procreate with someone who has stronger genes and would be better at rescuing/protecting a female from the outside world. She senses at a sub-level that his genes are best for producing a strong child, and given the enormous investment women make in child-production (let alone rearing) in comparison to the man, she subconsciously wants to give it her best genetic shot. But even where procreation is not a factor, there is often attraction. As relationship specialist Michael Fitzgerald tells us, it’s the “untamed masculinity, independence, and confidence” of bad boys that are attractive. There is also the thrill of a wild and unpredictable adventure rather than the “hum-drum, cookie cutter” experiences of “regular” dating (dinner, movies, etc.). The bad boy is also assertive (lots of guys are passive or shy), and so the female gets the feeling of being strongly pursued rather than timidly asked. And all this attraction is assuming there is not a cycle/history of abuse in play, or self-esteem issues, etc., many of which would only accentuate this attraction. If the father was absent during the female’s childhood, there may be additional intensifying issues (unresolved insecurity, feelings of being unloved by the most important male figure, etc.) as well.
Younger, attractive women tend to exhibit more behavior of being attracted to bad boys, possibly because 1) they don’t hear ticking biological clocks and can engage in more exploratory, temporary behavior, and 2) because their youthful good looks mean they know they could “have most any man I want.” Women also often think they are going to “fix” or “tame” the bad boy (yet even if they could, they probably wouldn’t want him afterwards). Interestingly enough, a large number of women often do not go as far as to marry or attempt to make a long-term commitment to a bad boy (although enough women do, obviously).
As for all you females out there who consider yourselves “average” or “moderately attractive,” men hopefully realize that much of the above may not apply as heavily to you. Use your sanity then to best advantage! :)
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Dysfunction of the Genders, Part 1
In a marked departure from the usual (and perhaps staid?) political/historical/environmental/social commentary fare often seen here, I am presenting this multi-part presentation on social psyche of the genders, especially the 20-40 somethings (with a bit more emphasis on the younger part of that spread). For those of you with weak constitutions or delicate sensibilities, buck up, as I won’t be sparing things just because they could be considered crude, lewd, or derogatory.
That caveat said, I really like the CD that this is taken from (perhaps that says a great deal about the mental and emotional activity, etc. of this prof!). Not just because of the song-slinging easy jingling, but because the songs illustrate in quite raw form how at least part of the male side views things. Perhaps a reader could suggest some counterpart female views to post…
So onto the first of many lyrics postings and analyzing (presented here for educational purposes only, so as not to infringe on the rights of the band and their publishers/producers, although I'm assuming since I own the CD, like the CD, and am giving it publicity, they won't mind):
From Theory of a Deadman’s 2011 CD “The Truth Is…,” comes this song. The lyrics give the title away right off…
“The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?
I like her so much better when she's down on her knees
Cause when she's in my face that's when I'm starting to see
That all my friends were right in thinking that we'd be wrong
But she's so fuckin' stupid she'd be singing along
The trouble with girls is they're all the same
Forget the diamonds and pearls; they just want a ring
Before you know it, you're like a dog on a leash
Well you can try and change the world, but you won't change me
The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?
There she goes again just always breaking my balls
No matter what I do somehow it's always my fault
She says I must be cheating cause I turned off my phone
But that's the only f’in' way she'll leave me alone
The trouble with girls is that it’s never enough
They love to complain and they never shut up
They like to tell you the way it ought to be
Go on and tell the world but just don't tell me
The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?
It ain't a joke when I say I wanna throw you out
(I really mean it, I really mean it)
Well look who's laughing now!
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
She just couldn't stay away
The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But the bitch came back; she won't stay the f*ck away”
Aside from the (demeaning?) language, these lyrics illustrate quite directly how many 20-40 something men feel, at least in my own monitoring from travels, circles of friends and acquaintances, and internet sifting. Look at some of the themes men are rebelling against: control; manipulation; incessant verbosity; and accusation, just to name some. There is also the first hint of another theme that will be coming up soon: men feel they can’t treat women too nicely, or perhaps even that the women don’t deserve it, and in any case if they treat them too nicely because they want the woman around, she’ll leave, but if they treat her like, well, the b-word above, they won’t be able to get rid of her! :)
Yes, yes, I know there are SOME, hopefully, MANY American male-female relationships that don’t fit anything like these patterns described. Good for them. Are they the exception or the rule? Interesting ponder!
That caveat said, I really like the CD that this is taken from (perhaps that says a great deal about the mental and emotional activity, etc. of this prof!). Not just because of the song-slinging easy jingling, but because the songs illustrate in quite raw form how at least part of the male side views things. Perhaps a reader could suggest some counterpart female views to post…
So onto the first of many lyrics postings and analyzing (presented here for educational purposes only, so as not to infringe on the rights of the band and their publishers/producers, although I'm assuming since I own the CD, like the CD, and am giving it publicity, they won't mind):
From Theory of a Deadman’s 2011 CD “The Truth Is…,” comes this song. The lyrics give the title away right off…
“The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?
I like her so much better when she's down on her knees
Cause when she's in my face that's when I'm starting to see
That all my friends were right in thinking that we'd be wrong
But she's so fuckin' stupid she'd be singing along
The trouble with girls is they're all the same
Forget the diamonds and pearls; they just want a ring
Before you know it, you're like a dog on a leash
Well you can try and change the world, but you won't change me
The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?
There she goes again just always breaking my balls
No matter what I do somehow it's always my fault
She says I must be cheating cause I turned off my phone
But that's the only f’in' way she'll leave me alone
The trouble with girls is that it’s never enough
They love to complain and they never shut up
They like to tell you the way it ought to be
Go on and tell the world but just don't tell me
The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?
It ain't a joke when I say I wanna throw you out
(I really mean it, I really mean it)
Well look who's laughing now!
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
The bitch, came, the bitch came back
She just couldn't stay away
The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But the bitch came back; she won't stay the f*ck away”
Aside from the (demeaning?) language, these lyrics illustrate quite directly how many 20-40 something men feel, at least in my own monitoring from travels, circles of friends and acquaintances, and internet sifting. Look at some of the themes men are rebelling against: control; manipulation; incessant verbosity; and accusation, just to name some. There is also the first hint of another theme that will be coming up soon: men feel they can’t treat women too nicely, or perhaps even that the women don’t deserve it, and in any case if they treat them too nicely because they want the woman around, she’ll leave, but if they treat her like, well, the b-word above, they won’t be able to get rid of her! :)
Yes, yes, I know there are SOME, hopefully, MANY American male-female relationships that don’t fit anything like these patterns described. Good for them. Are they the exception or the rule? Interesting ponder!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Flat Liners
As someone has said, how would you like to be making $200,000 a year today after 25 years on the job? Well, if you started with the pay of an average worker 25 years ago that's what you'd be making today--if you got the same kind of raises that CEOs of American companies got for the past 25 years!
Are we really to believe that those CEOs “value-added contributions, expertise, and decisions” are so grandly in excess of ours that this is how it should be? With 75% of America today making $50,000 or less (often far less), it doesn’t take a finance major to figure out the above calculations (or to know that something is off), and that wages have been stagnant or falling for the average worker.
Are we really to believe that those CEOs “value-added contributions, expertise, and decisions” are so grandly in excess of ours that this is how it should be? With 75% of America today making $50,000 or less (often far less), it doesn’t take a finance major to figure out the above calculations (or to know that something is off), and that wages have been stagnant or falling for the average worker.
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