Once, men had a dominance in the lies category. Whether for bravado, or political-economic-social competition, or for effecting their romantic or sexual player status, or any of a host of reasons, men lied on average more than women.
It appears that this is no longer the case, maybe WAY no longer the case.
This doesn’t mean that men don’t still lie plenty. They do, and for a lot of the same reasons. But women, for whatever reasons (physical, environmental, social, cultural, etc.), as has been explained in multiple social and psychological studies, have taken on many characteristics of previous male-dominated behavior.
In short, women often lie. Attractive females lie more. Young, attractive females lie even more. Young, single (regardless of boyfriend status), attractive females appear to lie the most.
What used to be the wiles and manipulation of the so-called “weaker” sex have ran off the rails in this new social-cultural environment. Often freed from any blanket status of being “weaker,” the methods historically used to compensate (and which became highly developed) have now been turned loose in full force on a male population that is less assertive, less confident, less socially domineering (far less so, except for the upper classes) than before. This would have colossal effects even WITHOUT the physical/hormonal factors that appear to be at higher—sometimes much higher—levels in women.
Which leads to the male refrain, a combination of bewilderment, shock, anger, frustration, and despair: “Why so many lies? Why the lies that don’t even serve a purpose? Why so much manipulation, deception, and deflection? Why so EVIL?” I have had numerous attractive girls who are/were friends (girlfriend and otherwise) admit to me that they lie to and manipulate the men in their life (and often have more than one!), and some even laugh at the cruelty of it. One told me that even if she’s caught, she never admits anything, and continues with denial and stupid or even nonsensical stories and deflection (“no matter how retarded”) until the man in the matter just gives up in frustration. She says (and is no doubt right), that “unlike a woman, the man will forget about or not care about the specifics in two weeks anyway.” Daunting social psychology!
Ah, you have been wondering, ok Prof, but where’s the song lyrics? :) Okay, in a bit of frustration wrapped up In a whimsical song about tables turning, comes, once again, the band that has been featured here for the previous two weeks. Here’s the title song from their “The Truth Is..” CD:
“You lie about you, and you lie about me
You lie about your ex's and the STDs,
You grew up rich in the Florida Keys
You lie about everything
You lie about a baby being on the way
You’re lyin’ to yourself if you think I’d stay
It's just a big game I don't wanna play
You lie about everything
You think you'll get everything you want
But you ain't gonna get it from me
The truth is...
It was all pretend
All along I've been sleeping with your best friend
The truth is...
I really hate your face
You were never all that hot in the first place
Bad in bed you suck at givin' head
You've gone and got me thinking I'd be better off dead
The truth is...
You're fuckin' useless
The truth is...
I lied about everything
You lie to your folks, say everything's fine
What you don't know, rent's 2 months behind
Tell all your friends that we have a great time
You lie about everything
You lie when you said your tits are real
They're about as fake as the way we feel
You're so full of shit that I cannot deal
'Cause you lie about everything
I don't think we stand a chance
Watcha said you can't take back
The truth is...
It was all pretend
All along I've been sleeping with your best friend
The truth is...
I really hate your face
You were never all that hot in the first place
Bad in bed, you suck at givin' head
You've gone and got me thinking I'd be better off dead
The truth is...
You're fuckin' useless
The truth is...
I lied about everything
You lied about you and I lied about me
Now that you know I'm finally free
One last thing I'll say that's true
I lied when I said "I'm in love with you"
The truth is...
It was all pretend
All along I've been sleeping with your best friend
The truth is...
I really hate your face
You were never all that hot in the first place
Your ass is fat and you ain't that smart
Every time you talk you got me falling apart
The truth is...
You're fuckin' useless
The truth is...
I lied about everything
(I lied about everything)
(I lied I lied I lied I lied I lied )
[That was good]”
Once again, all you ladies with good sense, compassion, honesty, loyalty, character, etc. (you know, all those things females SAY they want from men): Look at how wide open the field is for you since your sisters in the larger societal sorority are often not exhibiting those qualities! :)
Women use to be the "powerless" but highly influential moral voice of the culture. Society's conscience, as it were. It was women who cared for the sick and poor in their communities and set the moral tone within the home. While I wouldn't want to return to the days when ladies were excused after dinner while men discussed important topics of the day (how frustrating that must have been for a well read, intelligent female!) one must admit that something quite valuable has been lost. Women were using those "wiles and manipulation" to try to even things out a bit, which is understandable. What you are describing here is something else. It is the use of power, control, and manipulation simply because one can. The most offensive reason of all. It is the game of "What can I get him to do?" not because she is powerless at this late date but because she is enjoying wielding the enormous power our culture gives to the beautiful. You'd be surprised how often this is in play even among females.
ReplyDeleteI can remember when mothers used to say "Pretty is as pretty does." What happened?